。樓梯。
朋友在他的Blog寫到「樓梯」，引發我對樓梯的記憶，跟他卻有種對比的感受。建築是很個人的生活經驗，從小開始，有些型式會成為你內心的原型，被拿來與日後的世界比對。
在我心裡，樓梯一直是屋內的一部份。家鄉在宜蘭蘇澳，身邊大部分人住的都是透天厝，我成長的時候，平房已很少見。每家每戶都住在二或三樓的房子，樓梯就是家的一部份。
有段時間，樓梯佈滿了恐怖印象。一家四口幾乎都在一樓活動，客廳、小孩臥房、廚房，一個樓層就夠了。所以二樓總是陰暗的，通常都是媽媽在廚房忙，要我或妹妹上樓幫她拿東西，我倆會互相推託直到媽媽吼著，才急忙上樓，
那是自己想像的恐懼，但對我卻有個真實揮不去的害怕。我小時候愛哭，極惹人厭，總成鄰居欺負的對象。有次我們不知為什麼上二樓去，接著一起下樓，媽媽和阿姨顧著說話，留我跟鄰家男生 - 阿偉在後，大人腳步快，一眨眼就到一樓，我倆還留在二樓梯頂，這時阿偉突然抓起我的手臂用力咬一口，那不僅是驚天動地的哭聲，還有維持至今怕站在樓梯頂往下看的感受，有種快被遺棄、失去保護，轉眼被壞人趕上的孤單。
樓梯下的空間，卻是我愛去的地方。通常那是家裡的儲藏室，門只是個暗門，鎖不上的，所以不會有被鎖在裡面的擔憂。我愛用新的東西，卻也愛翻舊的物品，每過一段時間，為了找儲藏室的工具，翻著翻著就被舊的東西所吸引，一段時間不碰，它會突然變的新鮮，於是擠在那小天地，就像發現了哆啦ㄟ夢的百寶袋，幾小時都不肯出來。
年紀越大，對黑暗、未知的恐懼越小。越愛那連結兩處的樓梯，同在屋子裡，它卻幫你分隔了兩個世界，跟家人有爭吵，走上樓去，就有了暫時的寧靜。
上了大學，到台北生活，隨後為了工作搬到新竹，一直都對家裡沒有樓梯的公寓不習慣。不過走上公寓或大樓的樓梯，卻有一種真正進入房子內心的感覺。正因為電梯是大家常走的位置，所以總是裝扮乾淨，樓梯反而像是家中灶腳般屬內部的角落。有時樓梯牆邊或扶手掛滿雨衣，各類物品像是在家般擺放。所以從樓梯往內走，會有種跟房子交談的感覺，會看見它不遮掩的表情，很令人安心。
所以，至今仍盡可能走樓梯，因為樓梯不僅連結了好幾個世界，也連接著一棟建築的內心，懂得從樓梯進來，似乎懂了不從表面去判斷建築的個性。
最後更新時間 2007-06-24 11:15:31
留言列表（8）
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Shine 說:
近日，台北住的地方屋內也有個梯。四米二的挑高公寓，有個小夾層，上頭是書房底下就是生活空間。
2007-06-24 11:20:41
有時半夜醒著看著梯子，迷糊半睡醒間，會以為自己回到宜蘭住在透天厝的感覺。 -
NANACY LIN 說:
姊
2007-06-25 08:12:19
我到今天才知道，你以前呼喝我上樓拿東西不是因為懶惰或是因為電視太好看，而是因為你怕黑！！
那你一定也想像過二樓有鬼吧！HAHAHA....
姐妹就是用來禿曹的啦！ -
Lucy 說:
Shine的異想空間
2007-09-04 15:38:46 -
小時候我住的是祖傳的房子，它只有二樓的透天厝，但我與Shine不同的是，我喜歡躲在二樓的小天地裡，因為我們家是賣鞋業的中盤商，一樓總是堆滿了鞋子，所以在那個年代，二樓就成為我們四個姐弟的天堂。
2007-09-05 10:13:29
如果說獨自在樓上不怕嗎？說不怕是騙人的，哪個小孩不怕黑？問題是我們住的祖厝有更可怕的東西，就是廁所，以前的廁所並不是馬桶沖水式，而是一陣子要請人來抽出的那種，可能是為了能裝多一些的黃金吧！蹲下來的位置離地面還有一小段距離，對矮不嚨咚的我們來說，上廁所變成我們童年最大的夢魘ㄟ！
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emily 說:
才華洋溢,
2007-09-11 20:50:44
光聽到文章的抬頭"樓梯"就很棒
勾起我很久沒看散文的心,
溫暖.... -
路人 說:
我想到佛洛依德的肛門期.
2008-05-28 18:05:10 - 2011-04-08 01:51:30
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